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In over my head April 22, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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Wesley: “Ms. Art.  Can someone who’s under 18 sue somebody?”

Self: “Hmm.  I’m not sure.  I feel like maybe not.”

Wesley: “Well!  Because Kaylan and Jalyn were mad at each other and Kaylan took Jalyn’s bookbag and (…etc…) so Kaylan said if Jalyn put her hands on her she’d SUE.”

Self: “You know, I’m not so sure the courts have time to deal with one ten-year-old putting her hands on another.  Probably the under-18 thing is not what you’d call the main roadblock here.”

Wesley: “UNLESS.  Unless it was a boy and a girl…”

Self.  Interrupting, because OOPS: “Er – or if it were very violent.  Anyway…”

Amadia: “Oh yeah, like if they were NAKED.”

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Love thy enemy, sleep with one eye open, same difference. April 1, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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Michael, 2nd grade: “I have to love my enemies.  That’s what it says in the Bible.  Don’t you ever read the Bible?”

Aryan: “YES.  It says, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies CLOSER.’  I know that’s right.”

So…is that a pro or a con? March 18, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in Hopes and Dreams.
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My buddy Jake is six.  His sister has a sweet cat, Ireland, but Jake fancies himself a dog person and has been petitioning for one of his own for some time.  His mom, Sue, told him he had to do some research and get back to her…and shortly thereafter, she found this extensive list:

We have a two-hour delay today, and a first-grade existential crisis. March 3, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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Chandler: Wha?  No breakfast?!

Self: No, not today – you didn’t eat breakfast at home?  It’s almost lunchtime already!

Chandler: WHAT.  Did I sleep really late?!  (pause…) But other people…other people are just getting here too.  EVERYONE IS LATE.  WHAT IS GOING ON.

Wait, no…THAT’S more like it, yeah. March 2, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in Hopes and Dreams.
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Those crazy white people! What will they think of next?! February 25, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in Role Models.
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Nina, explaining to me the historical significance of Dr. Benjamin Carson: “Oh man!  There was these two little white boys and they was joined by the HEAD!  And he took ’em apart!”

Comprehension of irony not yet developmentally appropriate, unfortunately. February 24, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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Dylan: Ms. Art!  Reese is not worrying about her own self like you said…!

I probably saved him some minor heartache, honestly. February 19, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in Uncategorized.
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I knew by the panicked look in his eyes and the way he hissed, “It’s for Jasmine!” when I held out my hand that it must be good.

I lied and told him I wasn’t going to read it; then I not only read it, I posted it on the internet.

I'm a jerk. You're welcome.

And yes, he got written up for blowing my cover. January 29, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in Hopes and Dreams.
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Chandler, rushing my desk with Donovan right behind: “Ms. Art!  Are you a secret agent for the CIA?  Because Donovan said – ”

Self, interrupting: “YES.”

It’s an all-star kind of day here on I Like Your Face, apparently. January 21, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in Uncategorized.
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This is not my actual water bottle, but close enough. On the other hand, how much do I wish this was my actual water bottle? Um, awesome.

Dakota, eyeballing the water bottle on my desk: Uh, Ms. Art?  What is that?

Self: It’s my water bottle.

Dakota, whose imagination has demonstrated a proclivity for overactivity beforeOh.  Phew. I thought it was like, somebody’s ashes or something.

This is maybe not as far out in left field as it sounds, considering the potentially off-color jokes I’d made the day before about how easily a talkative fifth-grader would fit into the kiln.  With the lid CLOSED.  Word travels fast.