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There’s a motivational poster in this somewhere October 8, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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As I walked down the hall this morning, three girls popped out of a bathroom and caught sight of me.  A general chorus of “I was just waiting for HER!” erupted, prompting me to insinuate that they were certainly full of excuses for people who didn’t otherwise appear to have done anything wrong.

Diron, passing by, sadly shared: “That be me at football.  Always be too full of excuses.”

Look, first things first, okay? June 29, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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James, listening to NPR News in the car: “RUSSIAN SPIES?!  What…?!  Why…?!”

Self: “Well!”  *Brief rundown of Cold War, US/Russia tentative relations, Communism, etc.*

James: “But I thought the US and Russia were friends.  They were in World War II, you know.”

Self: “They were.  But then for several decades there they really, really weren’t, and so the two governments are still learning how to trust each other and -”

James: “PUNCHBUGGY NO PUNCHBACKS.”

Self: “And that, yeah.”

In over my head April 22, 2010

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Wesley: “Ms. Art.  Can someone who’s under 18 sue somebody?”

Self: “Hmm.  I’m not sure.  I feel like maybe not.”

Wesley: “Well!  Because Kaylan and Jalyn were mad at each other and Kaylan took Jalyn’s bookbag and (…etc…) so Kaylan said if Jalyn put her hands on her she’d SUE.”

Self: “You know, I’m not so sure the courts have time to deal with one ten-year-old putting her hands on another.  Probably the under-18 thing is not what you’d call the main roadblock here.”

Wesley: “UNLESS.  Unless it was a boy and a girl…”

Self.  Interrupting, because OOPS: “Er – or if it were very violent.  Anyway…”

Amadia: “Oh yeah, like if they were NAKED.”

Love thy enemy, sleep with one eye open, same difference. April 1, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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Michael, 2nd grade: “I have to love my enemies.  That’s what it says in the Bible.  Don’t you ever read the Bible?”

Aryan: “YES.  It says, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies CLOSER.’  I know that’s right.”

We have a two-hour delay today, and a first-grade existential crisis. March 3, 2010

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Chandler: Wha?  No breakfast?!

Self: No, not today – you didn’t eat breakfast at home?  It’s almost lunchtime already!

Chandler: WHAT.  Did I sleep really late?!  (pause…) But other people…other people are just getting here too.  EVERYONE IS LATE.  WHAT IS GOING ON.

Comprehension of irony not yet developmentally appropriate, unfortunately. February 24, 2010

Posted by Ms. Art in General Chaos.
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Dylan: Ms. Art!  Reese is not worrying about her own self like you said…!

I feel like you know a little more about this than maybe you should. January 21, 2010

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Overheard this morning…

Substitute teacher: Put your money away – if you leave it on the desk, someone could take it.

Justice: But!  That is STEALING!  They would be a THIEF!

Sub, I guess sensing a teachable moment?  I really don’t know: Mmmhmmm, and where do thieves go?

Justice, sagely: To juvy.

Zing! January 14, 2010

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Andre, totally just looking for attention and not deserving of your sympathy, so relax already: “I’m not good at anyyyythinnnng.  I can’t dooo it, it’s toooo hard…”

Gabrielle, very astute for 6: “You’re really good at complaining.”

He’d be in more trouble if I thought he knew what it meant. September 25, 2008

Posted by Ms. Art in Darndest Things, General Chaos.
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Scene: The never-fails-to-amuse car-rider loop.

Wesley: Freak!

Tariq: Nine-year-old VIRGIN!

Self: (Wha?)

Wesley: TEN-year-old virgin!

Tariq: INFINITY-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN!

Self: *Steps in.*

I feel you, kid. May 16, 2008

Posted by Ms. Art in Darndest Things, General Chaos.
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Voices from the hallway:

Mrs. R: “Okay…they don’t have pizza today, it’s fish fingers or taco salad, two lines!”

Kindergartener: “But!  Mrs. R!  But I NEEDED pizza!”  Tears ensue.  The cafeteria is an unforgiving place.